Sturm und Drang.

redecorating.

I wonder. 

Why do we say goodbye?

Whats good about leaving? 

I've never been good at leaving.

I am worse at staying.

Staying anywhere or anything.

I can't stay myself

and I can't change.

I love everything

and I hate everything

there is no in between

I love this - fuck this

I fucking love this

fuck loving this

though frankly , Mr Shankly

I have hardly any fucks left 

I gave them all to a world

that does not deliver meaning to me 

that knows only slogans, flags and strategy

so I am growing out of my own skin. 

Again.

When did this start

and where do I begin?

learning my own lessons.

I fucked up.

I know. 

My head was in the clouds

when I should have had your back.

looking out at my own galaxy

while you were looking out for. me. 

Now you are softly crying 

while I am  trying

to save the words that are dying  

on my lips.

I told somebody some time ago

that words can't  fix

what action fails to show.

I fucked up. 

I know.

not gonna happen.

#resources

one of these days.

I am sorry to interrupt

but today i just feel pretty fucked up

nothing is right though nothing goes wrong

feeling weak though looking strong

turning thoughts over, again and again

stop at the beginning , start at the end

can't comprehend, just can't seem to find

the thing that keeps messing with my mind

I even went to church, thought I'll give it a try

and God might light me up, if I just swing by...

I kinda knew it doesn't work that way, it can't

it's just that his fanclub I can't stand

and usually I trust in his spirit within and never worry

but anyway thats another story

I also tried to write it down, looked at it from every angle

but even that didn't help me to untangle

the thoughts that cause this melancholy

somewhere deep inside of me

well I think I just should go and see

the people who make me

the two or three

if that doesnt help to get me straight

I might as well go out and get layed

but whatever.... I already feel better, now that that's off my chest

at the end of the day the reason might not even matter

sometimes ....

Emotional Rollercoaster

ich gruesse alle die ich kenne