Ich hatte dich schon fast vergessen.

Dein schweres Herz in dunkler See

es sinkt zum Grund nichts tut mehr weh 

dort hin wo's keine Liebe gibt.

 

Du könntest hier für immer liegen 

Jemand wie du ruht nie in Frieden 

Jemand wie du ruht nur im Krieg. 

 

Deine zwei Gesichter. 

Zerteilen dich. 

 

Du siehst die Welt mit toten Augen 

man kann dir nicht den Atem rauben 

treibst durch die Schatten ohne ZIel. 

 

So kannst du nirgendwo lang bleiben 

Niemand hat Zeit zu Zeit vertreiben 

NIemand hat Zeit dich zu verspielen. 

 

Deine zwei Gesichter.

Zerteilen dich.

Meine zwei Gesichter zerteilen mich . 

And the stars look very different today.

SOME PEOPLE MAKE YOU WANNA BE THEM.

AND SOME PEOPLE MAKE YOU WANNA BE YOU.


page from Simon Critchley's book on Bowie

Yesterday.

In my head

there's a war between all things unsaid

and all the good people turned bad

In my head

all the shiny shit turned blue

and everything I feel tastes new

I don't know what I am thinking

search every corner, turn the stones

I do remember what I looked like

but who I was seems to be gone

And I am not sure where I'm going

I don't recognize the streets

and the house that I grew up in

seems like a language I don't speak.

In my head

all the happy kids are sad

and all the good people turned bad.

 

Sturm und Drang.

redecorating.

I wonder. 

Why do we say goodbye?

Whats good about leaving? 

I've never been good at leaving.

I am worse at staying.

Staying anywhere or anything.

I can't stay myself

and I can't change.

I love everything

and I hate everything

there is no in between

I love this - fuck this

I fucking love this

fuck loving this

though frankly , Mr Shankly

I have hardly any fucks left 

I gave them all to a world

that does not deliver meaning to me 

that knows only slogans, flags and strategy

so I am growing out of my own skin. 

Again.

When did this start

and where do I begin?

learning my own lessons.

I fucked up.

I know. 

My head was in the clouds

when I should have had your back.

looking out at my own galaxy

while you were looking out for. me. 

Now you are softly crying 

while I am  trying

to save the words that are dying  

on my lips.

I told somebody some time ago

that words can't  fix

what action fails to show.

I fucked up. 

I know.

ich gruesse alle die ich kenne