being loved, wanted. 

being disliked, hated.

Both startles me.

Both confuses me. 

Detach me from all of that.

Detach me from my ego

from how I look and the way I walk

from what you see in me

from what you project onto me 

from the things you understand.

It bores me 

it scares me 

it cages me .

I dont find comfort in this zone


I wanna be the weirdest I can get

act the strangest I can act



and broken. 

Follow me. Free falling.

See me. Saint and slut.

Find me. Creating and destroying.

Save me. 

Join me.

Or leave me the fuck alone.

I want to breathe self 

not perception.

.I wanna be all that I am.

Fuck I am too old to pretend to be just one thing. 

and too young to pretend that I have figured myself out.

Don't you pretend

after one look through eyes

more tired than your mind

that you fucking have. 

soft agression.

Sturm und Drang.


I wonder. 

Why do we say goodbye?

Whats good about leaving? 

I've never been good at leaving.

I am worse at staying.

Staying anywhere or anything.

I can't stay myself

and I can't change.

I love everything

and I hate everything

there is no in between

I love this - fuck this

I fucking love this

fuck loving this

though frankly , Mr Shankly

I have hardly any fucks left 

I gave them all to a world

that does not deliver meaning to me 

that knows only slogans, flags and strategy

so I am growing out of my own skin. 


When did this start

and where do I begin?

Dear Drama.

I am not sure f I remember quite right

it was kinda noisy in my head that night

but when I said : "come find me"

I was actually talking to the person behind me. 

So don't worry bout me the next time you see

that the best friend of a Dude I'd like

is also quite alright,

or when I meet another

no need to introduce a cute brother.

And about those girls with big mouths and small self esteem

dont make the effort to put them in my team

Oh before I forget it , one more thing

no sons, no long distance and please no ring.

You know I love a good story

and I have to say

you've been sending a lot of those my way

so I am not complaining, I guess

exept for myself, I've got everything under control 

but could you look out for my soul?

Cause though I know that you mean to inspire

and that you mean it well 

few more dances around the fire

and I am fucking going to hell.

tell me .

ich gruesse alle die ich kenne