one of these days.

I am sorry to interrupt

but today i just feel pretty fucked up

nothing is right though nothing goes wrong

feeling weak though looking strong

turning thoughts over, again and again

stop at the beginning , start at the end

can't comprehend, just can't seem to find

the thing that keeps messing with my mind

I even went to church, thought I'll give it a try

and God might light me up, if I just swing by...

I kinda knew it doesn't work that way, it can't

it's just that his fanclub I can't stand

and usually I trust in his spirit within and never worry

but anyway thats another story

I also tried to write it down, looked at it from every angle

but even that didn't help me to untangle

the thoughts that cause this melancholy

somewhere deep inside of me

well I think I just should go and see

the people who make me

the two or three

if that doesnt help to get me straight

I might as well go out and get layed

but whatever.... I already feel better, now that that's off my chest

at the end of the day the reason might not even matter

sometimes ....

I really want to...

figure you out.


This life is screaming now or never and freedom and experience,*la vie rapide, while the soul
is crying for that depth that the hearts are trying to escape from. We are looking for ourselves,
finding, trying, keep searching. Afraid to commit to anything or anyone, afraid of giving
something up. It's so ironic, that we are still looking for the same thing. That thing that
makes it all complete, but looking for it inside of us, instead of trying to find it in another
person. So where does that leave us children of the city, where the only constant is change?


To be honest, I have no idea. I am just thinking about love, as usual, you know me. Life and love.

Life or love? Love after life or life after love? How can two letters make such an incompatible
difference? Living for love might be an option for some people and the rest of us.....maybe
we are striving for independence in it's purest form, or we are all just becoming pussies.

Well, at least one thing is for sure. Forever is painful. But at least it's forever.

My new forever in the making.

city philosophy.


learn to love the ride.

Embracing the good and the bad. Realising that whatever I become, there will always be
someone longing for what I were. Knowing that I don't know shit. Growing up. Now. In this moment.

Dear life,


yoda of love.

no matter what one does.

who one sees.

what one feels. Or doesn't feel. 

where one is.

without expectations.

not wanting. 

not needing.

not trying.

just loving.

that's what they call unconditionally. I guess.

ich gruesse alle die ich kenne