writing your name on a black line.

Do you remember when you would write your name ?

big, small, with a swing or sometimes just plain

over and over and over again

in deep concentration, letter by letter

starting over after a few - displeased - nah I can do better

carefully directing the pen and trying to bring

perfection into your personal swing

back then, it really didn't mean a thing

but it tasted like autonomy 

and felt somewhat like identity.

But then writing your name, at some point came

naturally, probably with full age

and with a thin black line on the bottom page.

The pen started to weigh heavy, the flow betrayed it's ideal

decisions had to be made and the ink sealed the deal.

Not the perfected swing of your wrist

or that confident twist on the second letter 

but the many small printed ones above it mattered

and you forgot all about your personal spin

and your nature hidden within.

signing shit became a means to an end

one of the many dutys of your hand. 

 

Well, for me and for that matter

I am starting from scratch 

feeling all 12 again - letter by letter. 

Cause I don't wanna ever forget the feel

of signing my first record deal. 

up here.

Pussybreath and bedroom eyes

up in the air doing fivehundred miles

no one like you. 

Sun kissed, wild curls, holding me close

like: you never know how a plainride goes

Learning to live while teaching me how to love

onehundredeleventhousand meters above

On top of the world and under my skin

I can't really remember it being so thin

Entirely yours and ready to die

I already fell so deep

that if this plane goes down, I'll probably fly. 

NOW.

Another year is ending. And I couldn't care less,

I'm  just done pretending. I guess. 

cause my whole universe is in spin - and I like the spin I'm in

I am in the middle of something,  looking for the path within 

There is no end, no beginning, no last year and no next - Only now - 

And I am breathing. 

every moment. every sound. every beat. 

And I am

my every word, my melancholy, my erratic heat.

Driven, hungry, all patience is gone - I'm done waiting for some day to come. 

May it be the next day, the new year , or the day before

I ain't giving up my now no more.

not for yesterday and not for tomorrow,

My love is light - my song is sorrow .

Everyday and every night -  Fuck tomorrow.

TONIGHT.

Tonight I won't find a way.

Tonight I won't make it work.

Tonight I'm not making plans.

Tonight I'm not gonna get to the bottom of this.

Tonight I'm gonna take it as it is.

Tonight I allow myself to be weak for a change

and feel alone and lost and a little afraid.

Tonight.

I'm gonna hide - and just hate the mess that I've created

but when I wake up tomorrow morning, tonight will be dated

AND I AM GONNA FACE IT AND BE FUCKING AWESOME

fuck water - be a song my friend.

Touch me like a song.

send shivers down my spine - without touching my skin

bite my soul - conquer my mind

make whispers sound like poetry

set me free while holding me

thrill me. chill me. fill me. 

Cause if u love me like a song

I'm gonna play you all night long.
 

Timing.

Just a few words. 

Or one certain touch

can sometimes already be too much.

Always walking on the border of not getting too close

cause you both already know how this thing goes.

Shutting down whenever he comes in view

not what I want, but what I should do.

Sometimes caring means pushing someone away

but that doesn't mean that you don't want them to stay.

ich gruesse alle die ich kenne