redecorating.

I wonder. 

Why do we say goodbye?

Whats good about leaving? 

I've never been good at leaving.

I am worse at staying.

Staying anywhere or anything.

I can't stay myself

and I can't change.

I love everything

and I hate everything

there is no in between

I love this - fuck this

I fucking love this

fuck loving this

though frankly , Mr Shankly

I have hardly any fucks left 

I gave them all to a world

that does not deliver meaning to me 

that knows only slogans, flags and strategy

so I am growing out of my own skin. 

Again.

When did this start

and where do I begin?

Dear Drama.

I am not sure f I remember quite right

it was kinda noisy in my head that night

but when I said : "come find me"

I was actually talking to the person behind me. 

So don't worry bout me the next time you see

that the best friend of a Dude I'd like

is also quite alright,

or when I meet another

no need to introduce a cute brother.

And about those girls with big mouths and small self esteem

dont make the effort to put them in my team

Oh before I forget it , one more thing

no sons, no long distance and please no ring.

You know I love a good story

and I have to say

you've been sending a lot of those my way

so I am not complaining, I guess

exept for myself, I've got everything under control 

but could you look out for my soul?

Cause though I know that you mean to inspire

and that you mean it well 

few more dances around the fire

and I am fucking going to hell.

learning my own lessons.

I fucked up.

I know. 

My head was in the clouds

when I should have had your back.

looking out at my own galaxy

while you were looking out for. me. 

Now you are softly crying 

while I am  trying

to save the words that are dying  

on my lips.

I told somebody some time ago

that words can't  fix

what action fails to show.

I fucked up. 

I know.

bring it on love

It's so odd how feelings and people just turn into memories. If it wasn't for this album, I guess I could never
imagine how deeply I've loved. Chris Pointdexter wrote " if only we could feel what we remeber and not just
remember what we felt", but fuck it all cause listening to the words that I wrote at the time, does something similar
for me. It makes me surprisingly and weirdly joyous. Like...I literally crack up, cause it feels so good to know
that it was real. There is no such thing as real love and I would do it all again. I probably will. 

King of the castle

Patrone and words unspoken

mingling in the tone of his voice

his eyes just a shade too bright

for what they promise

He makes you want that fuck

he doesn't give.

His walk opens doors

wherever he goes

he's the king of the castle

everybody knows.

 

But maybe thats just how I perceive.

And maybe thats why he never leaves. 

The Offlife: one day.

went to sleep like a little girl

woke up

like a grown woman

no headache

weird.

a brandnew toothbrush

and a quick shower

throwing on last nights clothes

lost half of my shit

but still have my mind

the rain washes away yesterday

before I start to remember it

coffee.

pretty black.

and I'm pretty back

reality check.

feet on the ground

pink ballons in the sky

make a wish

the warmest hearts

just another day in paradise

not ready to go back to the unreal world

going anyway

burgers,hip hop,shoes

same same but french

that feminine touch

like 8 hour parfume

scent of his spirit mixed with that five o clock shadow

I've always been a sucker for those

but I am not even trying

anything today

or anyone

take me home.

too many worlds for one day

zoning

life is. 

ich gruesse alle die ich kenne