time thief.

I lost about 18 hours

they are nowhere to be found

I looked for them in your eyes

and almost drowned

I tasted them on your lips

but lost them somewhere below your hips.

Where does 'I love fucking you' , stop

and where does 'I fucking love' you, start?

You confuse me.

Friend.

Moulting.

being loved, wanted. 

being disliked, hated.

Both startles me.

Both confuses me. 

Detach me from all of that.

Detach me from my ego

from how I look and the way I walk

from what you see in me

from what you project onto me 

from the things you understand.

It bores me 

it scares me 

it cages me .

I dont find comfort in this zone

anymore. 

I wanna be the weirdest I can get

act the strangest I can act

violent

heartbreaking

and broken. 

Follow me. Free falling.

See me. Saint and slut.

Find me. Creating and destroying.

Save me. 

Join me.

Or leave me the fuck alone.

I want to breathe self 

not perception.

.I wanna be all that I am.

Fuck I am too old to pretend to be just one thing. 

and too young to pretend that I have figured myself out.

Don't you pretend

after one look through eyes

more tired than your mind

that you fucking have. 

redecorating.

I wonder. 

Why do we say goodbye?

Whats good about leaving? 

I've never been good at leaving.

I am worse at staying.

Staying anywhere or anything.

I can't stay myself

and I can't change.

I love everything

and I hate everything

there is no in between

I love this - fuck this

I fucking love this

fuck loving this

though frankly , Mr Shankly

I have hardly any fucks left 

I gave them all to a world

that does not deliver meaning to me 

that knows only slogans, flags and strategy

so I am growing out of my own skin. 

Again.

When did this start

and where do I begin?

Dear Drama.

I am not sure f I remember quite right

it was kinda noisy in my head that night

but when I said : "come find me"

I was actually talking to the person behind me. 

So don't worry bout me the next time you see

that the best friend of a Dude I'd like

is also quite alright,

or when I meet another

no need to introduce a cute brother.

And about those girls with big mouths and small self esteem

dont make the effort to put them in my team

Oh before I forget it , one more thing

no sons, no long distance and please no ring.

You know I love a good story

and I have to say

you've been sending a lot of those my way

so I am not complaining, I guess

exept for myself, I've got everything under control 

but could you look out for my soul?

Cause though I know that you mean to inspire

and that you mean it well 

few more dances around the fire

and I am fucking going to hell.

learning my own lessons.

I fucked up.

I know. 

My head was in the clouds

when I should have had your back.

looking out at my own galaxy

while you were looking out for. me. 

Now you are softly crying 

while I am  trying

to save the words that are dying  

on my lips.

I told somebody some time ago

that words can't  fix

what action fails to show.

I fucked up. 

I know.

bring it on love

It's so odd how feelings and people just turn into memories. If it wasn't for this album, I guess I could never
imagine how deeply I've loved. Chris Pointdexter wrote " if only we could feel what we remeber and not just
remember what we felt", but fuck it all cause listening to the words that I wrote at the time, does something similar
for me. It makes me surprisingly and weirdly joyous. Like...I literally crack up, cause it feels so good to know
that it was real. There is no such thing as real love and I would do it all again. I probably will. 

ich gruesse alle die ich kenne